mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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