How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
