I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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