who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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