Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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