do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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