drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
