come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
