i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
