If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
