He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
