I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
