He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
