You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize