I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
