Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
should my penis look like a turkey
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
