Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
