i just google imaged poop.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
