woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
