Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm too high and old for this...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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