Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
