Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
