would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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