i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
