I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
