Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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