His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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