so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
