She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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