The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
