he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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