If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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