Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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