those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
