to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I touched a dick in church today
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
