Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
