I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
