He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize