just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
