you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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