He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I touched a dick in church today
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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