piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
