Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
