Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
