Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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