How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
