We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
