It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
