i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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