would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
