I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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