So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
