so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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