let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
