He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
