She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
