Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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