Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't think brook has ever known best
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
