swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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