this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
