i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
