So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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