I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
