dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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