We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize