please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize