So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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