It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
