Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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